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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124907">Fill my hole (in my heart)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun'>Akan_Abrun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Office (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Everybody’s on board, Fluff, M/M, Mostly just Jim dealing with FEELINGS, No cheating, Not an anti-Pam fic, Yearning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Forgive the title.</p><p>Post series. Dwight calls Jim for help on a sale, and suddenly Jim realizes what he’s been missing. Or rather, who he has been missing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jim Halpert/Dwight Schrute, Pam Beesly/Brian (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I need you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jim heard Dwight’s voice over the phone, it felt as if he had finally drank water after walking miles in the desert, thirsty beyond all sense. It was at that moment, Jim thought later on, that he realized just how much he yearned for the other man. His mechanically translated “Hello, Jim,” shocked an epiphany through Jim’s body like a bolt of lightning.</p><p>‘I miss him?’ Jim thought, shakily holding his office phone against his ear. ‘I need him.’ The thought raced through his head like a flash of light, and it felt forbidden, and it felt exciting.</p><p>“H-Hi, Dwight,” Jim stammered a little, trying to sound casual as his world changed within. He found himself glancing guiltily at his wedding ring. He tried to push all troubling thought away in order to concentrate on this phone call. “What can I do for you?”</p><p>“I have a big meeting coming up, the annual conference with Regence,” Dwight explained, wasting no time and sounding very professional. Jim became warm as the man continued to speak. “I was hoping you could join me so we could form the Dream Team again, like the old days. They’re a pretty big client, as you know. What do you say?”</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds great!” Jim said, then tried to sober himself and muster his excitement. His heart pounded in his chest. He focused his eyes on his computer keyboard, taking a breath. “What’s the date?”</p><p>“Meet me at the office on Friday at noon, you’re driving,” Dwight replied.</p><p>“Sounds good,” Jim said as he nodded and smiled to himself. He wrote down the meeting in his planner on his desk.</p><p>Jim was in a haze as they exchanged goodbyes and hung up their phones. He never would have guessed that he felt so strongly for Dwight, and in a way that he could hardly explain. He was already bad at recognizing and communicating his feelings, but this was on some sort of other level. Hearing Dwight’s voice again after a year of not speaking, as well as making plans with the man that week... it tied Jim’s stomach into knots, made his heart pound at his rib cage— and even deeper than that, he became hot and tingly. It was like how he used to feel around Pam, but different in some ways.</p><p>Jim glanced again at his wedding ring. ‘Pam,’ he thought guiltily, mulling her name over in his head. He wasn’t too aware of why he should be guilty, but he still felt that way. Maybe it was because he knew that there was a hole in his life that Pam couldn’t fill. As happy as he was with her and their kids, he still felt as though something was missing. A vacancy in his life was looming over him every day, and it wasn’t until this day that Jim finally found out what the missing piece was. Or rather, WHO the missing piece was.</p><p>He wasn’t able to think about it further, as his phone began to ring on his desk. Duty called— or rather, a client,— and Jim took a deep breath and centered himself before answering.</p><p> </p><p>When he returned home late that night, Jim checked on Cece and Phillip to make sure that they were asleep in their rooms. He snuck in and kissed each of them goodnight, telling them that he loved them so much. He heard dishes clinking in the kitchen sink, so he made his way down the hallway and into the room where his wife stood. He came up behind her, and she greeted him as he wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>“Hey sweetie, how was work today?” Pam continued to do the dishes, while craning her neck around to kiss Jim. He pecked her on the lips, feeling bad as he did so while remembering Dwight’s call to him earlier that day. After the greeting he backed away to lean against the island in the middle of the room.</p><p>“Work was fine,” Jim said, his mouth becoming dry. “Thank you for doing the dishes.” Pam laughed.</p><p>“Well there were too many for them to be ‘soaking’ overnight,” she jabbed jokingly.</p><p>“Hey, sometimes the food stuck to the dishes can be really difficult to scrape off when they haven’t been soaking!” Jim defended himself with a smile. He always enjoyed these playful back-and-forths with her.</p><p>“Mhmm,” she hummed, clearly unconvinced of his argument. They both laughed quietly to not disturb the little ones. They stood in the kitchen together silently while Pam finished the dishes.</p><p>“So... this Friday I’m gonna be going to Scranton,” Jim told her nervously, even though he knew he had no reason to be nervous. “Dwight’s meeting with a big insurance company, and wants me to back him up on it.”</p><p>“How much of the commission are you getting?” Pam asked with a smile. Jim blinked. He hasn’t thought about commission...</p><p>“Not sure yet, we decided to discuss it after we make the sale... just in case things go south...” Jim cringed inwardly, hoping that Pam will let that answer fly.</p><p>“Well, as long as you get something to make up for the trip!” Pam said. “I know you’ll be happy to see your old friend again, but don’t forget that we just had to pay all those medical bills.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right,” Jim replied. “And I will figure it out. I promise.” He smiled reassuringly and planted a kiss on her cheek as she put the last bowl on the drying rack. She dried her hands with the kitchen hand towel, and then wrapped her arms around Jim.</p><p>“I love you, and I’m really glad that we moved here together,” Pam told him as they embraced each other tightly.</p><p>“Me too,” Jim said half-heartedly, staring at his wedding ring behind her back, and thinking about Friday.</p><p>Thinking about Dwight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Help is the least I’ll give you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Jim pulled into the parking lot of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, his heart pounded a thunderous beat that pulled him out of the car as soon as he parked. He wanted to shake hands with Dwight, or bump fists, or hug him— he just wanted to feel Dwight’s touch again, to feel the man that he’d been missing for so long. He leaned against his car, snickering at Dwight’s new flashy vehicle in the manager’s space.</p><p>After what felt like eons to Jim’s ever-pounding heart, Dwight exited the building, holding his beloved brown briefcase. Jim couldn’t help but grin at the sight of the man, his heartbeat rising to his throat and in his ears. Dwight smiled back, and approached with a spring in his step before stopping in front of Jim and placing his briefcase on the ground. He held his arms out wide.</p><p>Jim wasted no time and approached swiftly to hug him back, and Dwight met him in the middle, as if they were magnets being pulled towards one another at close proximity. Dwight hugged him tightly, cracking his spine a little, causing Jim to grunt and laugh. Dwight laughed also, which made Jim’s heart skip a beat. He held Dwight tightly, deeply breathing in his familiar scent. Suddenly Jim’s blood flushed downwards to his groin, and he felt a jolt run through his cock as he breathed in the other man’s smell. Jim promptly let go of Dwight so that he wouldn’t feel the Jim growing stiff. He tried to regain his composure quickly. </p><p>They smiled at each other, Dwight’s eyebrows raised but furrowed, his eyes crinkled at the corners, making that wholesome face that made Jim melt every time he saw it. After they stood there smiling like clowns for an almost uncomfortable amount of time, Dwight spoke.</p><p>“I missed you, buddy.”</p><p>“I missed you too Dwight,” Jim replied without pause. He felt as if he wanted to say so much to the man, but had no clue how to convey it. Even if Jim could find the right words to tell Dwight how he felt, he had no way of knowing if Dwight would respond favorably or not. The man could be disgusted, or angry, and he could tell Pam and everybody else that they knew. Jim wasn’t even sure what he would tell Dwight, as he couldn’t put his feelings into words that fit properly. Jim took a deep breath. No, this was not the day for confessions.</p><p>Together they got into Jim’s car, and settled in for the ride.</p><p> </p><p>After the two of them had easily closed the sale, Dwight suggested that they get a drink together back in Scranton. Jim readily agreed, although he wasn’t loving the idea of driving back to Philly so late that night. It was worth it though, he thought, since he had no idea when he would see Dwight again. He wanted to spend time with the man, and maybe figure out just what it is about him that gets Jim’s heart and soul so excited. And now that their mood has shifted from professionalism to familiarity, maybe Jim will find some answers.</p><p>Sitting in the quiet pub, Dwight and Jim drank their own craft beers and chatted lazily about work things. Jim was otherwise occupied staring at the man; his new wrinkles, his bright round eyes, the way he gesticulated when he spoke, his mouth moving... Jim found it all so enthralling, which confused him to no end. Why would he find such a man so enamoring when he had a perfect wife at home? He was pondering this too deeply, evidently, when he realized Dwight was snapping his fingers in front of his face.</p><p>“Earth to Jim! Hello?” Dwight interrupted his thoughts, eyebrows raised. Jim chuckled sheepishly.</p><p>“Sorry, I was just...” Jim stared deeply into his beer, wondering whether or not to tell Dwight the truth. “I just missed you, Dwight. And I think it’s really nice to catch up.”</p><p>“I think so too, Jim,” Dwight smiled at first, then it faded slowly into a stoic expression. “While I am catching you up to speed... Angela and I got a divorce.”</p><p>“Oh, Dwight, I’m sorry man,” Jim said, feeling sad for the man although giddy, for a reason he couldn’t name.</p><p>“Oh, don’t be sorry,” Dwight chuckled a little. “It was amicable, and we worked out very reasonable terms for the divorce. I get Phillip every other week.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Jim smiled a little, nodding. Then his tone became more serious. “Pam and I... I don’t know.” He sighed and took a few good gulps from his drink. “I just feel like there’s something else.” He said obscurely, but Dwight nodded in understanding despite the vagueness of his statement.</p><p>“Yeah, it was something like that with Angela and I also,” Dwight said quietly. He flagged down the waitress for more drinks. “So how’s Athlead?” Dwight asked, and Jim was immediately relieved for the change in topic.</p><p>As they caught each other up with their lives, Jim noticed himself getting distracted with the way Dwight talked. His different expressions, his strong hands, the way his mouth moved as he formed words. He felt invigorated by Dwight’s presence, and warm— much like he felt for Pam in the beginning, yet different. </p><p>Jim had a lot to think about on the long late drive back to Philly. And as he got into bed with his wife, his mind lingered on the man he’d spent his day with. She’ll be miffed to learn that he hadn’t discussed the commission with Dwight...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Something’s missing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re not happy, though, Jim,” Pam said gently, putting her hand on Jim’s. They sat together on the living room couch, discussing their lives as they caught up with each other between work. “I can tell, it’s like a part of you went away as soon as we moved here.”</p><p>“I know, and I’m so sorry because it was me who pushed us to move here,” Jim replied guiltily, feeling the remorse eat at his stomach. “I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself, Pam...”</p><p>“I can tell,” Pam said reassuringly. “Listen, I know things have been weird... I’ve been talking to Brian.”</p><p>“From the doc crew?” Jim inquired, remembering how Brian and his former partner used to double date with him and Pam sometimes.</p><p>“Yeah, we actually got kinda close while you were working in Philly all the time, so he knows a bit about our whole situation,” Pam explained, which made Jim feel a bit insecure.</p><p>“What do you mean, you ‘got kinda close’?”</p><p>“No, I mean we just started to talk a little bit,” Pam said earnestly, and Jim trusted her. He knew Pam was an honest person, and he didn’t doubt her. “He seems to get it, I think. You remember him and his partner split up.”</p><p>“Do you think that’s what we should do?” Jim asked, eyebrows furrowed with worry at Pam. His heart dropped at the thought of leaving her. Pam shrugged, which tugged at his heart even more.</p><p>“I don’t know, honestly,” Pam admitted, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know I want you to be happy, and I can tell you want the same for me. I just can’t help but think back to when we were just friends, and... I also think that you were meant to be with someone else.”</p><p>“Someone else?” Jim echoed, his mind immediately flashing to Dwight, which confused him even more.</p><p>“I’m not totally sure,” Pam said with another shrug. “But I think you might’ve left them in Scranton.” Jim stared at her intensely, and she returned with a knowing look. Jim broke eye contact first, his heart pounding and his palms sweating.</p><p>“Pam...” Jim opened and closed his mouth a few times, and Pam remained patient. “I love you so much. And the kids—“</p><p>“Jim, I know,” Pam interjected with a hug, and Jim embraced her back tightly. “I know that this was honest, between us,” she said, beginning to sniffle, “but I also know now that our journeys aren’t over. You need somebody who completes you... and so do I.” At that, Pam began to weep in Jim’s shoulder. He hugged her tightly, rubbing her back.</p><p>“Brian?” He asked.</p><p>“I think so,” Pam cried, and Jim nodded to himself.</p><p>He held Pam as they both shed tears, comforting each other as they broke the foundation of their relationship. Despite this being the end of their romance, Jim felt closer and more raw with Pam than ever. He had no idea how to approach his new feelings, or what to even think of them, but he felt comforted by his wife nonetheless. Through everything, she was still his best friend and his lifeline, and he would give anything for her happiness. And, he thought with a sob, if it meant being with somebody else, then he would support her. Just as she supported him.</p><p> </p><p>“Dwight, hey!” Jim greeted the man over the phone, trying to sound chipper despite himself. He was at work the morning after him and Pam’s deep talk about their relationship, and he was exhausted to say the least. As soon as he sat down at his desk, he dialed Dunder Mifflin Scranton and told Erin to put Dwight through.</p><p>“Hello there, Jim,” Dwight said, sounding more chipper than he typically did Friday morning. “To what do I owe the pleasure this morning?”</p><p>“Well,” Jim chuckled, not exactly sure what he wanted now that he was asked the question. “I was wondering if you wanted to... go out for, uh... drinks? Dinner?”</p><p>“Well which is it, drinks or dinner?” Dwight scoffed, making Jim smile into the phone.</p><p>“Both.” Jim said decidedly.</p><p>“Hm, I suppose I can fit that into my schedule,” Dwight replied, and Jim could hear pages flipping on his end. “Just have to pencil you in here... cancel my meeting with Rolf...”</p><p>“You had a meeting with Rolf?” Jim asked, laughing.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m thinking of hiring him as building security.” </p><p>“I’m sure Hank would love that.”</p><p>“Oh definitely not,” Dwight chuckled, which made Jim feel warm. “He already gave me a conditional resignation if I hire him.”</p><p>“Well it sounds like you have a very difficult decision to make,” Jim said sarcastically. He knew Dwight cherished his friends, but he also knew that the man valued practicality above all. He wouldn’t trade Hank for Rolf.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s kind of divine intervention that you called, since now I can just make up an excuse with Rolf.”</p><p>“Or you could just tell him the truth.”</p><p>“That he’s hyper-paranoid and I couldn’t afford the liability of having him on? Yeah, right.” Dwight scoffed again. “Might as well tell him I pissed in his green bean casserole.”</p><p>“Oh no,” Jim said sarcastically, shaking his head with a smile on his face. “That would be a... shame.”</p><p>“Hey, I can make a mean casserole. You oughta try some of the things I can make with beets.” Dwight said, his tone becoming more passionate. Jim smiled even wider at the emotion.</p><p>“Yeah, I’d be down to try some stuff you make,” Jim replied as a blush heated his cheeks. There was a moment of silence from Dwight.</p><p>“... Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, really. How about tonight?” Jim asked, his heart pounding.</p><p>“Yes! Yeah. That sounds...” Dwight sounded flustered on the other line. “I’ll expect you, say, 7 o’clock?”</p><p>“Sure thing,” Jim said.</p><p>“Okay cool. Great.” Dwight replied. “I’ll see you tonight.”</p><p>“See you tonight.” Jim said before hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his sweaty hands. What was he setting himself up for?</p>
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